Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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