he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize