Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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