So drunk its hurt
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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