He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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