also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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