Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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