What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
