I love black thongs
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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