His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
