I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
