Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
