just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
