I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
