he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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