hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
