Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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