I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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