I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
