forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
