I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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