He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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