after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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