Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh god it's open bar.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
