Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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