guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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