Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize