I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
