Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
