so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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