well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
