Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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