Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize