taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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