id be glad to
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
