I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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