drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
zippers are such a cool invention
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
