"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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