Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize