plz talk dirty to me
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
