I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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