But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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