look no pants
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I look better un-naked...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you inspire me to be a worse person
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
