i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
