Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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