It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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