Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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