I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
