I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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