i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize