he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
