I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
