Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize