it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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