Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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