we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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