dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
