apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
