just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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