Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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