Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
