doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
