I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my shit smells like andre
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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