So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
