Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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