Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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