My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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